Portland Fail.

This is a tale of how sometimes I will run smack dab into a government worker who has been relieved of his / her common sense.

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Yesterday, I was driving in downtown while doing a series of errands.  On this final errand, I was looking for a particular Belgian chocolatier shop.  For some reason I keep getting the address messed up by three blocks exactly.  Finding a parking spot nearly in front of the location that I had thought was the correct block of the shop that I was looking for, it was quickly apparent that it was the wrong address.

Now, without actually parking -- that is to say, pulled off to the side and with my driving lights on, my engine on, my seatbelt still strapped -- I pulled out my phone to search for the address; it also occurred to me that with the infrequency in which I  visit this particular shop, it may have gone out of business or moved locations.

It doesn't help that I've forgotten the name of the place.  Lucky for me, Google knows -- probably because I've searched for it before, while parked outside the same, wrong address, unsure if the shop has moved or gone out of business -- what I'm looking for, and it comes right up and I'm grabbing the address off Google Maps.

Just as I'm verifying the location on my phone, a parking meter guy comes around, staring at me, and asking me to roll down my window with a circular hand motion -- does anyone actually roll their windows down these days?  I explain to him that I had to pull off to the side and search for an address because I got the wrong location.  This is where he confounded me.

The parking meter guy tells me that any time that I'm stopping to use my phone, I have to shell out $0.40 at the meter.  I looked at him confused and explained that I wasn't parking, that I'm only temporarily stopping to find the right address and will drive to the correct address and park shortly.  He told me, to my surprise, that it's okay if I'm waiting to pick someone up or making a delivery, but if I'm going to use my phone, I need to pay the meter.

I respond to him in a non-confrontational, calm manner that I'll remember that.

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So it turns out, if you have to stop to take a call in the City of Portland Oregon, you cannot simply stop on the side and answer a phone call, respond to a text or browse for an address.

In the City of Portland you have one of three choices when using your phone:

• Break the law and risk a fine of $142 for using your phone while driving;
• Break the law and risk a fine of $45 for not paying to stop to use your phone;
• Pay the $0.40 toll to use your phone.