Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A little story about what meritocracy and luck really means.

A lot of people apparently think that we live in a meritocratic society and that hard work is always rewarded.  It's all bullshit.  In life, you don't get rewarded simply for hard work, and most of the time you have to have a bit of luck at the right time.  So here are some stories from my life growing up, to illustrate my case against the idea that we live in a meritocratic society.

The case against meritocracy

By demand of our mother, at the age of 11 we all took up orchestral musical instruments.  My brother played the baritone, one of my sisters played the oboe while the other played the flute.  I played the french horn.  Somehow, my elementary school band instructor must have seen talent within me, or at least the desire to excel, and helped me acquire a run down french horn that would have otherwise been tossed, and get it refurbished.

I don't know exactly why, but throughout my schooling years, I've always had to prove myself and move up from a lower chair to the top.

Always.

I was second chair in elementary school, until I won competitions.  In middle school, I was the bottom chair, but again, as soon as I started winning / placing in statewide competitions, I rose to the top, beating older students.  When I got to high school, things weren't any different and I still had to battle my way up the ladder.

Even before I got to high school, it was well known who were the best french horn players in high school, and two of them were at my high school of choice.  Well, I beat all three of them in a statewide competition, and came in second to my longtime competitor since the 7th grade.

As she told it to me, we were actually tied in scoring, but that they decided to give her the first seat.  I think she did that to irk me, but if it were true, then that was the first case against meritocracy, as we should have been co-first chairs.

Back at school, I thought that it would have impressed my band teacher that I was better, but it was not so.  He insisted on placing those who were senior to me, above me.  That was bullshit, and it went on this way for two years.  That second year, he offered to pay for private lessons, apparently as a means of compensating for promoting students who were not as good.  I foolishly rejected it, out of ego.

You have to understand, when I sat in those statewide bands and orchestras, I was the only one seated in the french horn section who didn't take private lessons, and I was usually #2 in the state, behind my longtime competitor.  It was a matter of pride that, I alone, could beat nearly every one of the other students.  Again like I said, ego got in the way.

The point is, that it didn't matter how much I proved myself in high school, my teacher would not make me first chair.  I wanted to major in music, but my mother advised against it.  When I thought about how difficult it was to swim upstream against a world devoid of meritocracy, I decided to drop playing french horn.

The case of needing luck at the right time

Back in 1993 when I graduated from USC, the economy stunk so bad in Los Angeles that for the first time in history, there were more people leaving than moving in.  Of all the cyclical occupations, Architecture / Construction and its related industries are first and foremost feast or famine.  There simply were no jobs.

I eventually made my way up to Portland Oregon by 1994, but for over a year I had been sending out my resume and micro portfolio of work to select firms that I really wanted to work for.  I had three bites during that time: Neal Denari, Coop Himmelblau and Michael Rotondi.

I remember that during my interview at Coop Himmelblau, it was clear that I had struck out, I think mostly because my portfolio was not Deconstructivist enough with exploration of layers.  But this is not about that particular interview.

I remember talking to Neal Denari on the phone, and the thrust of the conversation was, that he really liked my micro portfolio, but that he was closing up his Los Angeles office and focusing on New York.  Now, I don't know if he was lying to me, but he was really nice about it, and I'll always remember that about him.

I remember getting the letter from Michael Rotondi's office inviting me for an interview for their sole intern position, and feeling excited.  I called and spoke with the receptionist and set up a time.  I clearly remember stating that if I can't make it, that I would call her back to rearrange.  Come the day of the interview I showed up and Michael Rotondi wasn't there and the receptionist tells me that they already hired someone, because I had never called back.  WTF, right?  You see, out of the dozens of resumes they received, they had chosen just two people to interview, and I was one of those two.

So fate, it turns out, is cruel and likes to play tricks with your life.  Or as written in an once-obscure Medieval text made famous by Carl Orff's music, "O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing and waning."

If I hadn't graduated into a dismal economic climate or if Michael Rotondi's receptionist hadn't misheard or misunderstood me, I might have gotten a prime job, working for a world-renown, cutting-edge firm.

Instead, I moved up to Portland.

It is what it is

And you know what?  I feel no animosity, regret, or ill-will because of what happened.  In life, good luck or bad luck, bad timing or perfect timing, you can't force Fate to give you a different path.

As I recently told my mother, there is no point to wishing for things to have turned out different; it can't change, and it doesn't do any good dwelling on the past.  Further, I have many things to be thankful for, and I have been truly lucky with many other things in my life.

But I strongly resent the artificial thinking that suggests we live in a meritocratic society, and that people get ahead by working hard.  Working hard increases your opportunities to be at the right spot at the right time, but it doesn't guarantee anything.  It's similar to playing the lottery: If you play often, you're always in the running to get lucky, but if you never play, you're never going to win.

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