Economics, by Mitt.

Over the past few months, Mitt Romney has given quite a few speeches, espousing his philosophy on economics.  As a public service, I thought I'd distill it all down to a few, simple, understandable chunks of humor.

Romney Economics 101

• Demand 01: If you give a bunch of rich people more money, they'll manufacture demand for goods by simply adding new jobs.  By feat of fuzzy math, new jobs won't decrease worker hours or efficiency, but rather, will increase efficiency to 110% -- ask Bush Jr.
• Demand 02: If you give a bunch of rich people more money, they'll spend it, which will trickle down and produce demand.  (Shh....if those offshore accounts aren't mentioned, no one will notice the money flowing out of the country!  Quick Ann, move our money to the South Pacific and Switzerland!)
• Supply 01: If the government provides cheap credit (aka quantitative easing and lowering of bank rate), our debt will increase.  The problem here obviously, is WHO you give money to.  If you give it to the government to spend, it'll go into a black hole of debt.  If you give it to the rich people, it'll go back into the economy.  (Shh....if those offshore accounts aren't mentioned, no one will notice the money flowing out of the country!  Quick Ann, move our money to the South Pacific and Switzerland!)
• Supply 02: If you lower supply of dollars spent by the government, you'll increase GDP.  In other words, the money that government employees earn and spend, are worth less than half that of those workers in the private economy.  In fact, their contribution is not part of total GDP, because they're socialist wealth generators and they do not count.  We have separate cash registers for those kinds of people.
• Free Trade 01: Government shouldn't interfere with transfer of jobs between nations.  However, if jobs are exported overseas, it's the fault of government for not doing enough to keep them in the US...like lowering of labor costs and regulations.
• Free Trade 02: If jobs are shipped overseas, the government must allow private sector to lower labor costs.  In other words, if Chinese are earning $360 a month working at an Apple factory in Shenzen, then American workers should be willing to work for $360 a month working at an Apple factory in Kansas City.
• Regulation 01: Regulations cost businesses and jobs.  Those jobs created to navigate regulations and those created to produce products that meet regulatory requirements, are not counted as real jobs.
• Regulation 02: Environmental protections are not needed in a free market.  People will stop swimming in polluted waters once they start dying from exotic diseases and afflictions.  (And anyway, dead people don't vote.)
• Taxes 01: Low taxes leads to a growth economy.  By extension of this logic therefore, no taxes leads to a perfect economy.  Except the poor -- they should have to pay their fair share.
• Taxes 02: Capital flows to the lowest-tax nations.  Again, by extension therefore, no taxes leads to a perfect economy.  Except the poor -- they should have to pay their fair share.