Let's Talk About Poop

A random thread ran through my mind today: Poop can be classified into six distinct categories.

• Liquid -- It's like you're peeing but out of the wrong exit. Yes, it was something you ate.
• Slurry -- Otherwise known as the big "D", distinguished by the failure of the slump test. 
• Soft serve -- It's thicker than a slurry so it holds up in the slump test. Seemingly endless but cut off because you grew tired of waiting.
• Solid -- The scale can vary between a pickling cucumber or a banana, but it's the solidified version of the soft serve.
• Clumpy -- It vaguely looks like a solid, but is actually made up of clumps.
• Pellets -- Aside from nothingness, it's the least satisfying result for a constipated person. Instead of a clumpy solid, it's one or two pellets. Cut back on the carbonated drink and you'll possibly move from pellets to clumpy.

This is what happens when you have an active, curious mind with a warped sense of humor. 

Seeing as Donald tweets frequently from his golden seat, I'm guessing that he's a clumpy and pellets person, in no small part because of his penchant for carbonated fluids.