PSA: The dozen insults you should never say or think.

In light of some recent foot-in-mouth syndromes, I thought I should issue a PSA on a dozen insults that you should never say or think, especially when someone's got a smart phone on them:

1. You're only smarter than the average zombie, and that's after eating a dozen brains.
2. You're as bright as a candle on the sun and I'm the sun.
3. Darwin was wrong and you're the proof.
4. Well no, the Constitution doesn't prohibit stupid people from expressing their opinions, so you go right ahead while I daydream.
5. It doesn't matter which part of the lower 98% you're at, you're still part of the lower 98%.
6. I wish I could lose half my brain, just so that we could communicate on the same level.
7. Your mama called -- she wants you back in the womb because it turns out your brain was only half-baked.
8. Tina Turner was wrong and love's got everything to do with it, otherwise I wouldn't be with stupid.
9. I'm thinking of becoming an actor; I've been acting dumb all this time to make you feel better about yourself.
10. Do you know what the difference is between you and a brain-dead person?  I don't know, either.
11. Don't stand so close to me; your dumb might be contagious.
12. Earth to dumb: Just accept your dumbness and stop talking already; we already have too much hot air.

Remember, these are things that you're not supposed to say, even if humorous.