Friday, November 5, 2010

If you knew how and when - more or less - you were going to die, what would you do?

I look into the future, and I see something that goes like this:  I die before I hit retirement age, probably in my early 50s.  I don't know why this would happen, but I just feel like I know the plot to my story, if not the full narrative.  As I think back, I've only ever had two plot lines to my story, and the one I didn't follow was the one where I was already retired by 40 and doing art.  Really.

But the question remains: What would I make of that time, if that period of time is as such, dead by my early 50s?

Curious, but I think I'm already living that life.  I'm not concerned about my future and how it plays out.  I appreciate every day, and the air that I breath, the scents I can smell, the sounds that I hear, the beauty that I see and the flavors that I taste.

I do not concern myself with things that I do not wish to endure if it were to waste my time, which can be a bad thing for those who see it as a lack of ambition...something I was accused of, decades ago.

Sure, I save my money and make provisions for a future -- most likely working till I die -- just in case my fate is completely different from that of what I believe I see.  Prudent, no doubt!

Still, I cannot arrest this feeling I've harbored the past 5 years or so, that I know where this plot is headed.  Boy will I feel silly when I'm in my 60s and still alive and kicking!

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