Death. What are the final moments like? Tonight's dream, unlike most other dreams, was a series of explorations of the same outcome and it didn't last very long.
No, I didn't die over and over; I went through a series of scenarios of how I dealt with the final moments of death; I never actually died in the dream. The actual, very disturbing and odd set-up: I was inside of a small room, given the explanation that my end of life was coming, then led into a chamber full of people.
First scenario: I am going to die, why end it prematurely with chemicals? I should die naturally, surrounded by others so that I'm not dying alone.
Second scenario: I'm with an ambiguous female friend that I love very much but never told her. I suspect she's always felt the same, so why not tell her? Instead, we talk, then I tell her that I had one regret in life: Not getting to marry the woman that I loved. The final words to her were that in the next life I hope to find that woman again, but this time marry her.
Third scenario: I'm with that same ambiguous female friend, but this time I tell her that I love her, and she replies in kind. At this point, I begin to regret having to die, so I suggest we crawl our way out. After crawling out into a less-crowded area, I try to open my eyes but they won't, so I have to literally peel them open, at which point my eyes are in pain. I suggest that we go back inside and meet our fate.
Fourth scenario: I'm all alone as I start to consider what things I'd want to change in my future life. I try so hard to come up with specific design ideas that I want to remember (solidify) for the next life. Instead, the wrong design with immature design language pops up into my head as I desperately try to find another design to focus on -- it's like when you take a test and some random, unwanted thought enters your mind and you can't stop focusing on that random thought.
Fifth (and final) scenario: I'm again all alone, and now I'm considering how the end will be like -- will it be slow and painful, quick and unremarkable, stoic with pride, or simply pitiful? The machine makes a loud mechanical sound and I know that the end is very near and, as if had a choice on how it ends, I attempt to pick how I deal with the end. I choose the pitiful end and start bawling out with rivers of water coming down my face. This fascinates me, as I've never seen this much tears coming from my face...
Then I wake up. Not scared, not sad, not filled with anything negative, I opened my eyes with fascination and excitement and eager to write down what I had just dreamt. Amazing, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment